The task reminder on my phone just went off: I've got to call my doc and see if I can charm my way into a prescription refill. If I succeed, I'll be surprised. I've gotten another respiratory infection, I'm sure; this brings the total to...four? The strange thing is the realization that your body changes according to its rules, with no regard for you as the inhabitant. I never used to be like this. I never had any strange ailment, aside from the common cold and flu, in my entire life. Then one day I wake up, and Christina tells me that I had better go to the doc because I've been coughing in my sleep for the past month, and it's been bad enough to wake her on more than a few occasions. That was three years ago. If you do the math, it turns out to be nearly one infection a year since then; enough to establish a pattern. And enough to make me suspect my body is revolting against me, and beginning to age.
So why do I have to 'charm' my way into a prescription refill? Well because I've got no insurance, that is why. My coverage expired in May, and I haven't been able to get any since then, which doesn't seem like a big deal -- being young and healthy and all -- until one actually is faced with the costs associated with routine medical treatment, let alone non-routine treatment (e.g. - outpatient surgery) or a medical emergency. Being on that end of the stick makes one incredulous that a developed nation would be so archaic and assbackwards to not provide some sort of universal healthcare. But I digress...So I've got no insurance and really need an antibiotic (Amoxycillon or Azythromison) to kill this organism, but I can't get it without being seen by my doc, which I can't afford for the aforementioned reason. So I'm really hoping my charismatic skill-set won't fail me now, and I can put it to more noble use than wooing women.
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Edit: Just spoke to a pleasant nurse on the phone, very helpful and competent. She seemed quite willing to have the doctor refill a year-old prescription, provided that he consented. So maybe this will work!
I'm done being mad at Adrienne, and on to thinking about smackerals.
As usual, I'm pretty excited for Autumn. This weekend has been mostly overcast and cool, and more leaves have fallen. It gets noticeably dark sooner, and there's been lots of talk about the appropriate time to turn the heat on in one's home. All of this brings a smile to my face, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Along with the excitement for, or perhaps because of my excitement for, this season, I am also pretty pleased and excited for other things in my life as well. Particularly, I feel quite enthused about the upcoming times I will be spending with Adrienne: study sessions in a cozy coffee house, going to a UM football game, Nightmare Before Christmas, pumpkin carving parties, Halloween/Costume parties, Thanksgiving.
In other news, I told her that I think I'm ready to start dating again. It's something I've been mulling over for a while, and took extra time to give the thought it's due diligence, so we'll see how this goes. (Interestingly enough, she elected not to give me any response)
Dear Vox, please include a rotate button for your picture widget.
Well, I had intended on talking about self-denial last night, but instead got roped into watching Benjamin Button again. Which subsequently led to the same outcome as last time, whereby I end up misty-eyed and making a hasty exit from the room.
This, because that final scene where he's an infant and she an old woman, and she's holding him close and rocking him--that scene personifies everything I've ever wanted out of life; a sort of deep-rooted bond that transcends time, and even in his vulnerability as an infant and senility as an old man, she takes care of him.
And it makes me sad because I do not feel I have found that
...more about me, Taylor, and our future family.
The short of it is between my discovery of You Belong With Me in July and the album Fearless in August, I've developed a crush on her. This, despite my condescension toward the notion of a celebrity crush. She just speaks to me, age be damned. When I heard that song, it perfectly modeled the interaction with an old lady friend of mine who recently resurfaced as things were falling apart with my ex.
Taylor is "Sitting on a park bench thinking to myself: hey isn't this easy?" -- and I'm sitting on Mandy's couch, those
Interested, I download Taylor's entire album to find that the whole thing is a great listen. She plays with certain motifs throughout the album--dancing in the rain, 2 AM, others. She has two tracks where she hums a melody in a lower alto range that just kills me every time I hear it and I can just imagine her sitting next to me humming some whimsical melody in my ear. She sings of a head-first, fearless kind of love that I now remember experiencing myself, and so sorely miss. She sings about Romeo and Juliette, how she's been feeling so alone. She sings about such folly, that she's really not a princess and this isn't a fairytale. She cleverly sets up a march under lyrics about the 'ideal' guy, only to counter the chorus with a rock anthem as she sings about the guy she really wants to be with, closing the song with a subtle clue as to what ended up happening there. It is a concept album of sorts; and this, from a 19-year-old who writes her own songs. She transcends her age.
Curious of her achievements, I research her story to find that she has a developed understanding of English Literature, wrote a full length novel once, writes poetry quite well, writes her own songs, had vigilantly been trying to get noticed on the country music scene from a very young age, and was picked on at high school. Basically, she's smart, well-versed, has her own tormented past, is motivated, and sings like a bell, and looks like an angel in a sparkling dress with stage lighting upon her. I watch a few youtube vids of hers (she makes sure to note they are 'self directed'); she's got touching home video footage for "Best Days", and a hysterical and endearing capture of her watching the CMA award announcements as she screams and smiles and gets excited as her name is read, and...she's affecting.
Taylor Swift writes mature, telling, and deep lyrics. She writes and sings clever melodies. She's got academic chops, I love the sound of her voice, and she has a wild, crazy, adventurous, and fun side. And this is how a 25 yr old develops a crush on her.
I miss screaming and yelling and kissing in the rain, it's 2 AM and I"m cursing your name, you're so in love that you're acting insane--and that's the way I loved you.
This idea came to me about a week ago. Not novel, nor requiring any great intelligence for discovery -- some may even say 'self evident' -- for reasons which I may never reveal, or possibly in the subsequent paragraph, I'm seeking to start writing again. That is the idea; told you it wasn't novel.
It would appear that the revelation of my return will, indeed, occur here: writing in the moment is meritorious, particularly for future endeavors, interest, and reference. It allows one, if not explicitly, nevertheless the opportunity to relieve the moment, event, or idea in the spirit of the moment in which it occurred. So, that is why I am endeavoring to return, because there is a whole 2 year period (or worse) that I've gone dark, and now I have no record of how I got to where I am today (other than those blasted mental constructs known as 'memories', prone to fault).
Half the reason I ceased writing was because of a perceived lack of time; it invariably takes me probably three times the amount of time to write anything once as it does anybody else--the benefit being that I only need to write once (a sort of perpetual/living draft). So, that being the case, I will try to limit the subsequent posts, as holds true here, to stream-of-consciousness, else I will never get anything written, and I will certainly abandon the entire task.
Lastly, please no preconceptions that what I write will have any interest to you whatsoever; the function of this blog, as it currently stands, is a tool, or a means, to some other, broader , goal--which would be the same one that I just conjectured I would not be divulging two paragraphs ago, and shan't be after all. Of course, this entire paragraph assumes I even have a 'you' to speak to, which I very likely do not. Either way is quite fine, you may come along for the ride, if 'you' indeed exist.
Next order of business (and I may need a reminder, as I forget everything these days): I've been mentally rehearsing a blog about Taylor Swift that must be put to paper. As I am a 25-yr-old male former engineer, this will also require a bit of explanation. Stay tuned.
remember me? :)
so i have no idea who even used this anymore..but it's been a year since i posted...
life is fairly good these days :) that new boy i was talking about a year ago...well were pretty much married now, & we would be together a year in 2 weeks :D & ive never been happier. he moved in here a few months ago & things are absolutely perfect with him. :)
i'm still not in school because of financial issues but i'm on the list to go to school for aesthetics in may. i'm super nervous & scared but it's time to do something.
i work at lasenza currently. i love it there. i work with the BEST group of girls possible & its great. i just need to make more money lol. i have a maxed out credit card, car & insurance payments & student loan payments. but i'll get through.
still working on the whole ed thing. ive gained a LOT in a year...but this time around i'm trying to stay healthy & change my lifestyle for the better. just as im typing this i'm considering taking me boyfriend to the store with me to get a creme egg hahah. but seriously. ive been losing, just verrrrry slowly. i can do this.
anyways, i dont know whos still on this, but feel free to facebook me to keep in touch, it's pretty much all i do online nowadays lol <3
I'm going to Paint Your Pot tomorrow for McKinsey's birthday. I think that's it.
Bye everybody!
Unfortunately, I can't make up my mind. I went back to posting on livejournal. =P
But I'll keep this for reading your entries if that's ok.
